Irish Jokes
A wealthy earl went salmon fishing in Ireland. After a fortnight without
a bite he eventually hooked one small salmon. As Paddy, his ghillie,
landed it, the earl said, 'Do you know, that salmon cost me two hundred
pounds?' 'Ah,' said Paddy, 'aren't you the lucky man that you didn't
catch two.'
An Irish decorator was painting a house and the owner came home to
find the man rushing about like a mad thing with his brushes. 'Why are
you working so fast?' he asked. 'Well, you see, sor, the paint's running
low and I want to finish the job before it's all gone.'
A man was walking past a building site when he was surprised to see
three big Irish labourers holding hands and dancing round a hole in
the ground. 'What's up?' he asked the foreman. 'Is it someone's birthday?'
'No,' said the foreman, 'it's the third anniversary of the hole.'
An Irishman took a photograph of his son to the chemist. 'I wonder,'
he said, 'could you enlarge this for me?' 'Yes, certainly,' the chemist
replied. 'And would it be possible for you to take his hat off for me?'
'Well, I'm sure we could do something. Yes, we could touch it up for
you.' 'Oh, that's fine.' 'Tell me,' said the chemist, 'which side does
your son part his hair?' The Irishman smiled. 'Oh, come on now. You'll
see that when you take his hat off.'
