American Jokes
Bush falls into a coma and awakes 3 years later. His advisors explain he has been in a coma for 3 years, and Quayle took over. Bush asks how Quayle is doing, and his advisors say, ok but inflation is a bit high. Bush says, well I remember stamps were 25 cents, how much do they cost now? His advisor says 500 yen.
You know you're in a small town when ...
... You dial a wrong number and talk for 15 minutes anyway.
... You are run off Main Street by a combine.
... You can't walk for exercise every car that passes offers you a
ride.
... You don't use your turn signal because everyone knows where you
are going.
... You get married and the local newspaper devotes a quarter page
to the story.
... You drive into a ditch five miles out of town and the word gets
back to town before you do.
... The biggest business in town sells farm machinery.
... You write a check on the wrong bank and it covers you anyway.
... The pickups on Main Street outnumber the cars 3 to 1.
... You miss a Sunday at church and receive getwell cards.
... Someone asks you how you are, and actually wants to know.
These four guys were walking down the street: a Saudi, a Russian,
a North Korean, and a New Yorker.
A reporter comes running up and says, "Excuse me, what is your opinion
about the meat shortage?"
The Saudi says, "Excuse me, what's a shortage?"
The Russian says, "Excuse me, what's meat?"
The North Korean says, "Excuse me, what's an opinion?"
The New Yorker, says, "Excuse me?? What's excuse me?"
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- The Jokes.co.uk
